Like Mary McDonnell in the photo above, we may need someone to hold us upright, because Sandra Oh has finally cracked open a door that's been sealed shut for a decade.
In a new hour-long interview with Entertainment Weekly, Oh reflects on 20 years of Grey's Anatomy (part of EW's Shondaland anniversary celebration). From her initial audition (for a different role!) to her character Cristina Yang's most memorable and meme-able moments, the actress reminisces about her 10 seasons on the ABC drama — as well as her tough decision to leave the show in 2014.
"I took it very, very seriously," she says in our full interview of the conversations that started with Grey's mastermind Shonda Rhimes around season 8.
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"I knew in my gut that I had done as much as I could," she continues. "I really, really felt I did my job. I also was very, very cognizant that not many actors get to do this: create a full character and really live through their life, and then actually make the choice to come to a close."
Looking back at her final seasons on the show, Oh says she is grateful her early decision "creatively gave the writers a runway, so they could plan" Cristina's final act.
"And I think that they planned it beautifully," she says. "It also gave me time to move the audience with me to say goodbye to this character and wish her well. And I think that — at least I hope — myself and the writers, we did that."
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Since the season 10 finale, the Grey's team has kept Cristina a part of the show's world — albeit only via text messages and other written correspondence on screen.
"I am glad for the show to use the character as they see fit. Absolutely," Oh says of the storytelling device. "The character should still be there to service the story— and so, yay!"
But as for physically returning to the show? Since her final episode, Oh has been vehement in her stance of not playing Cristina again. But now…
"For the longest time, it has always been a hard no. And it's just…. I don't know. I just don't know," she starts, searching for the right words. "When you finish something, it's a deep process…. I just cannot tell you…. I can't stress to you enough how consciously I tried to fully process leaving. I don't feel the need to revisit, but I also profoundly understand the audience's love for this character, because I've seen it for the past 10 years. That's the part that makes me just go, hmmm."
Someone get Shonda on the line, stat!